Twin Cities Recap

This is why we live in Minnesota. Days like this. If you raced the Twin Cities Marathon, if you raced the Twin Cities 10-Miler, you know what I mean. The Dixie-whistlers in Chicago had to deal with the oppressive conditions you would expect from a southern marathon. Ninety-degrees. Ninety-percent humidity. That is just insane. Is it any wonder that native Moroccan, Khalid Khannouchi, won four in a row down south? North of the equator here in Minneapolis the day broke crisp, twenty-degrees colder than the starting temperature in Chicago. A comfortable moisture hung in the air like a cozy fleece against the 70-degree chill. And although 10,000 runners toed the line, the weather conditions had all but anointed Ukrainian and Russian champions before the race began.

Slab City Running Company fared well against the elements. Native Wisconsinite, resident Virginian, and full-time Aerobic Animal, Andrew Schroeder led the Company in 2:43:53, a PR by over seven minutes. His 36th place finish is the best in Company history. "Well, I've been watching a lot of Man vs. Wild" Schroeder explained in a post-race interview. "The biggest challenges are always mental. For me, once I resisted a pretty strong urge to dive off the Franklin Avenue bridge in order to demonstrate what to do if you happen to dive off the Franklin Avenue bridge, I knew I was going to have a solid performance." Schroeder executed his race strategy the same way he executed spectators who failed to provide sufficient fluids, with medical precision.

Dan "Chapel" Church finished just four places behind Schroeder and delivered the Company's gutsiest performance. Taking aim at the local elite time-standard, 2:35, Chapel held his goal pace for twenty miles before remembering that he wanted to stay awake to watch the Red Sox clinch the ALDS. He slowed down just enough to guaranty himself a 2-minute PR, 2:45:20, but the most impressive part of his performance was not his steely focus over the final 10K. Chapel's time is most amazing because it includes a quick stop at his apartment to hit refresh on ESPN Gamecast. Chapel, who has already established himself as one of Minnesota's elite sitters, likely secured elite standing for the next two years at the Twin Cities Marathon by finishing sixth among Minnestoans.

Allen Lundberg giggled his way to the finish line in just under four hours, but he saved his sprint for the trip from the chute to the Caribou Coffee stand. His 15s split for post-race arrival and full-cup consumption edges his younger brother's 2005 mark by 3s. The two are said to have then engaged in a pissing contest.

Also, we are pretty sure that Andy Sherman ran this race. We saw him last night and he said something about a "full body shiver." It kinda grossed us out. Plus, it was cold for everyone. Suck it up, man.

No, if there was tragedy for the Company at TCM 2007 his name was Phil Schrader. Loyal fans recall his marathon debut and his impressive string of sub-3hr marathons and perhaps they shake their heads at his 3:32:19. We do not. We worry that something greater than minutes and seconds was lost on Sunday morning. We saw his grim finish and thought whimsically to his stirring performance in 2005. Though he finished with the masses on Sunday, it appeared he was no longer their champion. Gone were waving arms and populist kisses. In their place, the single-minded pursuit of a material finish line, painted on concrete and not on his soul. Those of us who remember 2005 teared-up after the race as Schrader suggested we "head over to Target."

Whither then some constant in a bitter world that freezes marathoners and Schrader's heart alike? A hopeful Company turns of course to Schroeder and Chapel, but also to Ben Merchant and Chris Lundberg of 10-Mile persuasion. Smerch capped an impressive season by placing a reassuring 50th in the US Championship field, and Biz raced without a shirt. For fans, for humanity, for the Company, maybe that is all we need. Smerch and his consistent performance, Biz and his naked chest; these are our anchors in the frozen ocean we call home.

Slab City will compete sporadically but enthusiastically over the next month. Bizyah returns to action on November 4th in New York. Schrader returns to Target tomorrow. And Chapel will spend the next several weeks defending his 2006 Minnesota Sitting Championship against his chief rival, Andy Sherman.