Down the Backstretch Conducts Push Poll for Gravy

Down the Backstretch, generally considered a reliable news source for Minnesota's running community, appears to have engaged in push polling over the weekend on behalf of Gravy. A poll conducted during the Thanksgiving holiday purports to identify the favorite Thanksgiving foods of DtB readers. Unfortunately, the poll's many structural and methodological problems reveal it to be, at best, a viral marketing effort to inflate the value of Gravy, possibly with the aim of destroying Turkey.

The single-question poll asked participants, "What are your favorite Thanksgiving foods?" We will not attempt to quantify the implications of the obvious drafting flaw, except to note that many readers may have mistakenly believed they would be able to select more than one item from the list. Those respondents would have been less likely to prioritize among their top choices, making the poll less likely to reflect their true favorites. Respondents were given the option of changing their vote but DtB refuses to provide any data on how many actually did.

A substantially larger problem is how DtB framed its single question. A press release issued when the poll opened on Tuesday, November 25th editorialized, "We think underrated (and un-ranked) Gravy is primed for a break-out performance in 2008." By implying the correct response, DtB effectively changed its question to, "Do you disagree that Gravy is underrated?" This is a classic example of push-polling, and it is irresponsible at best, morally reprehensible at worst.

Many readers will certainly agree that this was merely irresponsible. After all, Gravy finished fifth of six, well behind Stuffing and Mashed Potatoes. The perennial favorites carried the day and Gravy only received one more vote than lowly Cranberries. No harm, no foul.

That would be true if a closer examination of these results did not reveal a much stronger performance for Gravy. First of all, Gravy entered the poll unranked but still earned a respectable 13% of the vote. It beat a ranked opponent in the process and improved on its sixth-place finish in 2007. Taken together it seems clear that Gravy exceeded expectations in a year that DtB's poll suggested Gravy should exceed expectations.

A second indicator, however, is even more revealing. Mashed Potatoes skyrocketed from fourth-place in 2007 to second-place in 2008, just four percentage points out of first. And while it may be true that some (freaks) love the simple, unadulterated taste of dry Mashed Potatoes, it is common knowledge that most people enjoy Mashed Potatoes best when they act as a vehicle for Gravy. To the extent that a vote for Mashed Potatoes is at least a fractional vote for Gravy, a significant proportion of Mashed Potatoes' 2008 improvement may be attributable to DtB's push-poll. Indeed, evidence shows that Gravy has a similar, if less significant, effect on Stuffing performance.

In other words, DtB not only framed its question such that Gravy was likely to exceed expectations, it also offered at least three different avenues by which respondents could, and did, indicate some preference for Gravy. Any comprehensive analysis would have to conclude both, (1) that Gravy did, in fact, enjoy the breakout performance DtB predicted and; (2) that Gravy's breakout was not so much predicted by DtB as created by the DtB poll.

The lingering question for Minnesotans wondering where to turn for reliable local running news is Why. Certainly DtB would not be the first good-hearted start-up tempted by the Gravy Train. But what about the harm visited upon Turkey this weekend? The holiday's signature food not only fell to fourth-place, but at meals across the state Gravy literally harvested Turkey's innards for its own use. If Gravy continues to expand its empire at Turkey's expense we will soon sip our Thanksgiving dinners from ladles. Our children may never know the majesty of the forgotten bird, speaking colloquially of Gravy-Day as our ears echo with hallow dissonance. Did DtB willfully and knowingly contribute to this weekend's Turkey obliteration? The public demands to know the full extent of DtB's relationship with Gravy, and what future intentions the alliance has towards Turkey.

SCRC Voting Bloc Dominates Planning Meeting, Pizza Eating

On Monday, November 24th the Slab City Running Company delegation to the USATF-MN Team Circuit Planning Meeting successfully passed a number of key measures expected to help The Company in 2009. The delegation also ate, like, 900 pieces of pizza. First time delegate, Dan "Chapel" Church, observed, "That was awesome!"

The meeting featured votes on several proposed revisions to the Circuit's scoring procedure, and also all-you-can eat pizza for $10. Slab City's five-person delegation helped pass a measure that will allow teams to drop their worst race from their total score and one that cuts the number of runners on a complete scoring team from five to three for races 15K and longer. The Company displayed intimidating strength by voting together on these measures early in the evening, and also by eating, like, six whole pizzas before the early votes had even been tallied.

The Company delegation was only outnumbered by the Molar Milers Caucus, but the meager difference in voting strength is preserved in the form of Grandma's Marathon's inclusion on the 2009 Circuit. Slab City's delegation, meanwhile, was successful in tipping several votes that prevented the early-season calendar from becoming too cluttered. Slab City's delegation was also successful in tipping several trays of pizza onto The Company's table. Asked for his feelings on losing the Grandma's Marathon vote, first time Slab City delegate, Ross Rankin, explained, "Sure, I would have preferred to have Twin Cities be the Circuit marathon, but I also would have preferred less salad at the buffet. I mean, salad? C'mon."

Veteran delegate, Matt Gehring, echoed his sentiments. "I think the important thing to remember is that even though the Rice Street Mile isn't on the 2009 Circuit, we still ate a ton of pizza." In fact, Ben Ho suggested that by winning the evening's early voting The Company was able to focus on its dominant pizza-eating during the scheduling votes. "We'll be able to field teams relatively easily for most of these races, and even if we can't we'll be able to drop our lowest score. On the other hand, tonight was our only shot at this pizza. I think some of these teams may have miscalculated."

The scoring rules adopted for 2009 are:

New Scoring System for 2009
a) Points awarded based on the number of teams competing at each race. If nine (9) teams participate in a race, the first place team will receive nine (9) points, 2nd place will receive eight (8) points, and so on, until the 9th place team receives one (1) point. Every complete team will be award at minimum one (1) point. The minimum winning point total for open teams will be five (5) points, for masters, four (4) points, and for grand master's, three (3) points, regardless of number of teams that officially score.

Example:

Race #1
Open Men (11 teams)
1. Team A - 11 points
2. Team B – 10 points
3. Team C – 9 points
11. Team K – 1 point

Master's Women (2 teams)
1. Team A – 4 points
2. Team B – 3 points

b) Each team will be allowed to discard the lowest score earned throughout the circuit. If the team circuit is composed of ten (10) races, the end of the year totals will reflect the nine (9) highest places earned.

c) The final USATF Minnesota Championship Race in 2009 will count as double points.

Definition of the Open Scoring Team
An open team will consist of 5 scoring members for distances under 15 kilometers. For distance of 15 kilometers and over, a scoring team will consist of 3 scoring members.

The 2009 Circuit Schedule is:

March 22 - The Human Race 8K - USATF Minnesota Championship
April 25 - Get In Gear 10K - USATF Minnesota Championship
May 7 - TC 1 Mile - USATF Minnesota Championship
May 25 - Brian Kraft Memorial 5K - USATF Minnesota Championship
June 20 - Grandma's Marathon - USATF Minnesota Championship
July 25 - Lumberjack Days 10 Mile
August 2 - Hennepin Lake Classic 5K
August 9 - MDRA Minnesota 15K - USATF Minnesota Championship
September 13 - City of Lakes 25K - USATF Minnesota Championship

The Circuit's pizza source should be restocked here.

Winds of Change: The Collegeville Circuit Revolution

Slab City Running Company's spiritual rivals, Collegeville, have always been famous for the amount of wind they generate. This fall Minnesota running fans are asking themselves, is it just wind? Or, is it wind of change?



Collegeville finished fourth on the 2008 Road Circuit for the second consecutive year, but they closed with series of strong performances including an impressive second-place showing at the MDRA 15K. The motley collection of jovial ex-MIAC runners finished the season just three points out of third-place. Representatives of the Circuit's ancien-regime were nervous, but they also assumed that colder weather would weaken Collegeville's resolve and quash any attempted November Revolution.

Instead, the ancien-regime fell on Sunday, November 8th 2008. Collegeville recorded a convincing victory at the USATF-MN Cross Country Championships and won the USATF-MN Cross Country Team Circuit. Of course, the quality of competition on the Cross Country Circuit is compromised because Slab City does not participate, choosing instead to spend the fall gaining weight and otherwise preparing to hibernate. Even without The Company's weighty presence, however, Collegeville's victory must be recognized as a significant moment in Circuit history.

We at Slab City therefore take this moment's pause from our November weight-gain to salute Collegeville for blowing fresh winds of change in the faces of the Minnesota running community. And while it is true that Slab City would very likely have won the Cross Country Circuit by much, much more if we had been in shape to do so, the Collegeville Revolution ought not be overlooked. Our sincere congratulations.

Now, brace yourselves to experience the crushing weight of the 2009 Slab City Running Company Counter-Revolution.

The 2008 Circuit Wrap

Aye, November, and another USATF-MN Road Racing Circuit has fallen from time like skeletal maple leaves wafting to the frosty earth against autumn's dying glow. We who raced it, lived it, and now months removed need no reminders save the scars on our souls and the victories in our hearts. We swallow the warm mouthfuls of tea and soak the morsels of cake that bear unflinchingly, in the tiny and almost impalpable drop of their essence, the vast structure of recollection: Slab City Running Company kicked some serious boo-tay in 2008.

Slab City detractors have rightly observed that The Company managed only a fifth place finish. True enough, but those final team standings remain the only piece of evidence suggesting that Slab City Running Company is not the best team on the circuit. In fact, The Company matched it's 2007 performance and also experienced significant growth over the final races of the season. After perennial leader and Company co-founder, Chris "Bizyah" Lundberg, left for the wilds of Idaho several Slab City rookies carried the team through the august August competition.

Ben Merchant led the squad and impressed his mother by doubling at the Hennepin-Lake Classic. Andy Jahn made his Slab City debut in fine style with a near-PR shirtless 10K, and Tom Church returned to the scoring ranks with his 5K performance. Matt Gehring and Phil Schrader also dizzied themselves around Lake Calhoun to clinch The Company's fifth-place showing. Ben Ho, meanwhile, anchored The Company booster squad by arriving prepared to run even though he was still recovering from racing the Chisago Lakes Half-Ironman Triathlon the previous weekend.

Just one week after Hennepin-Lake, Andy Jahn returned to lead The Company and relieve Reuben Woodruff of his state record for 22 year-olds at the MDRA 15K. Reuben, undeterred, thrashed his way to a 55:07, and Ross Rankin made his Slab City debut with an as-advertised 57:09. Triathlons can only keep Ben Ho down for so long, and he joined Matt Gehring to clinch another fifth place finish and to guarantee that Slab City would finish no lower than fifth overall for the season.

With little left for The Company to prove, Paul Fischer and Ross Rankin each showed the strength that would serve them well at the Twin Cities Marathon by turing in impressive performances at the City of Lakes 25K. Paul led the team as Ross continued building a reputation worthy of challenging Bryan Donald for the position of Slab City Metronome. Sadly, the day's most impressive performance did not register favorably in the results. Dan "Chapel" Church completed the 25K in 1:44:32. His fastest miles, however, were those he completed before the race began, dashing from his car to the starting line after misplacing Lake Harriet. Lake Harriet, as so many of us have learned, waits for no man, and so began the 25K while Chapel was still two sprinting minutes away from the starting line. He did well to finish the race at all, but completing his two fastest miles en route to the course left him depleted and The Company celebrated the racing equivalent of a Golden Birthday on the seventh.

At season's end, fifth-place Slab City was 18-points ahead of the sixth-place Molar Milers, and ahead of more than half of The Company's Circuit rivals. Strong performances from Paul Fischer, Ross Rankin, Tom Church and Ben Ho on Twin Cities weekend suggest The Company is poised to chip away at Collegeville's 11-point fourth-place margin and Ford's 14-point third-place margin. Until then we toast Company Runner of the Year, Ben Merchant, for leading the team at six of nine races and Company Co-Rookies of the Year, Ben Ho and Paul Fisher. Toasts and teas preserve our memories through these winter months, as we prepare to greet 2009 with supple mind and limb.

Experts Predict Rash of Updates to Slab City Blog!

Experts are predicting a rash of updates to the Slab City Running Company team blog this weekend. Sources close to the proceedings estimate that by the time the Thanksgiving weekend is over the site could be updated as many as four times. The sudden rash of updates would mark a radical departure from the site's recent no-update approach.

After months of wasting time pursuing activities ranging from running to not-running, the site's editor has decided to restore blogging to his list of time wasting pursuits. A source familiar with the editor's writing process says that the timing for these updates was predictable. "Now that the holidays are here, he definitely has many more important responsibilities. Family, friends, work, maintaining his health. With everything else that should take priority, I wouldn't be surprised if we saw six or seven updates before the weekend is over."

That estimate sounded high to one observer. "He won't have internet access for a couple of days. I think four updates is likely, but the balance will be weighted toward the end of the weekend."

Experts are still examining the relationship between the editor's renewed consumption of coffee and the anticipated updates.

Jessica Deutsch, another source close to the proceedings, explained, "Get off the compu

Slab City Gathers Self For Finishing Circuit Kick

Slab City Running Company is spending July looking ahead at the three remaining races on the Minnesota Team Circuit, gathering strength for a final surge. Two-thirds of the way through this grueling test, The Company is strategically positioned at the tail end of the main chase pack. Content to let Lundgren Ford and Collegeville do the hard work of chasing down front runners, Run N Fun and TC Running Company, SCRC is lurking comfortably in fifth, and ready to strike with the kind of ferocious finishing kick we displayed at the 2006 Get in Gear 10K.

Unsubstantiated reports from around the Twin Cities suggest that Company rivals have started to panic. Frankly, if they haven't, they would be well-advised to start. Our fifth-place team, a team just five-points out of third, has featured scoring performances from the motliest collection of runners this side of Anthony Famiglietti. At the TC One-Mile, for example, Reuben Woodruff laughed off wisdom tooth surgery en route to 4:48. At Brian Kraft an Anonymous Company Member (ACM) turned in a scoring performance despite the fact that he was still suffering embarrassment, having too-narrowly avoided vomiting on his girlfriend's mother the day before. Worse still, at the USATF Master's 5,000m Tom Church turned in a scoring performance while (barely) wearing the same sized singlet he wore during his rookie season.

The unflappable Ben Merchant has helped to offset some of these misfortunes. His third-place finish among Circuit participants at the TC One-Mile led SCRC to a fourth-place showing and a 17-second victory over Collegeville. Chris Lundberg, Paul Fischer and a surprising as well as surprised Matt Mascioli joined Reuben in the scoring ranks. Ben Ho and Tom Church, the Slab City Sentinels, guarded against attacks from the rear.

At Brian Kraft it was Merchant once again, shaking off a wedding to lead The Company in 15:57. Bryan Donald followed him, shaking off the in-laws, in 16:24. Steve Harris, Chris Lundberg and Paul Fischer rounded out the scoring, shaking off Texas, Woods to Water and Sunday respectively as Slab City finished fifth. Dan Church decided to shake off the race itself once Paul went by, and saved himself for the following weekend. Ben Ho decided that spending 5K on Sentinel duty with the likes of Tom Church would be too much shake without enough fries. He wisely tapped Matt Gehring as his replacement, and Gehring, also recovering from the 80-mile relay, shook out a gutsy fourth race in 24-hours.

One week after Brian Kraft, the only marriage on Merchant's mind was his own...to the shoulders of some of the best runners on the Circuit. His fourth-place, 15:17, at the USATF Master's 5,000m helped The Company to another fifth place finish. Dan Church stormed back from his shaky race the week before with a stellar 16:49, and Chris Lundberg left fans wondering if he is more machine now than man with his 17:08. Phil Schrader turned in a solid 17:27 in his first race since March, but failed to lap Tom Church, who literally rounded out the scoring for Slab City.

The Circuit resumes on August 3rd at the Hennepin/Lake Double-Header. Company rivals are beginning to tighten up, over train, over compensate and over think. The Company is relaxed and preparing for an elegant finish; the kind of finish that can only manifest without the travails of compensation or training. Or thinking.

Slab City Vows To Stay in Team Circuit Through City of Lakes

With three primary races tallied, Slab City Running Company sits in fifth-place overall on the 2008 USATF-MN Team Circuit, two points behind Lundgren Ford and only four points behind third-place Collegeville. After three early wins, Run 'N' Fun is the presumptive nominee for their party. TC Running Company has notched three runner-ups, and the Circuit math is in their favor as we race for the right to challenge Run 'N' Fun. Slab City has posted strong finishes in each of the initial contests this season: fourth at the Human Race 8K, fourth at the Earth Day Half-Marathon, and a close fifth at the Get in Gear 10K. After Earth Day we were tied for third-place overall. But now, after a 10K race plagued by controversial weather knocked us into fifth, some are calling for us to drop out.

Loyal fans, volunteers and donors, Slab City Running Company will never drop out! As you know, we are the finest team on the Circuit. We are most qualified to win in September. We are prepared for stuff. And we are still awake at 1:15am. The process established by USATF-MN will reward all of these qualifications. To drop out would compromise the legitimacy of that process, and deny honorable, hard-working races like Hennepin-Lake or the Master's 15K their right to have a say in the outcome. For the same reason, we pledge to continue our effort to count the results from the Race for Justice 5K towards Team Circuit scoring. When a runner participates in a race it is appallingly undemocratic to ignore his performance merely because USATF decided that particular race would not be included on the Circuit. We will make sure every race is counted. And we promise to each of you that we will take this fight all the way to City of Lakes!

Examining our performance thus far strongly suggests that The Company will improve over the course of the summer. This team fares particularly well in the suburban and rural areas that surround central cities, and the rest of the schedule is packed with races in places like suburban Edina and the Linden Hills countryside. In fact, the only remaining urban contest is the TC 1-Mile on May 8th in Minneapolis. After that, the Circuit will stop in the tiny Hamlet of Nokomis before returning to rural St. Paul where The Company fared so well at the Human Race. From there a doubleheader in Calhoun Township before hitting the suburbs will have Slab City positioned nicely for a fall victory. Here's a closer look at the demographic split for the Circuit so-far:

The Human Race 8K

Ben Merchant's beard set the tone for Slab City's performance as he led the way with a 25:58, pacing the team for a solid fourth place showing ahead of Collegeville. Post-race data suggest that Slab City's work ethic was especially resonant among St. Paul's rural community, and nobody embodied that principle more than Christopher "Biz" Lundberg. He took a 26:39 break from marathon training to complete the 8K. Bryan Donald, Reuben Woodruff and Dan Church completed the scoring for The Company as Phil Schrader and Matt Gehring also returned to the roads for the Blue & White.

The Earth Day 1/2 Marathon

Dan "Chapel" Church led a fearless Slab City contingent in St. Cloud, where Phil Schrader, Matt Gehring and Ben Ho also braved a dizzying four miles of twists and turns before finding a straight road. Once there, Chapel discovered he could take a full stride. He decided to take several, and they got him to the finish line a minute ahead of his anticipated finish. Schrader arrived next, 15s ahead of schedule, giving The Company our margin of victory over Lundgren Ford. Gehring, meanwhile, calmly matched his Human Race pace for 13.1 miles. When asked to comment he simply explained, "small-town racers respect consistency." He proved correct, as the town handed The Company another fourth-place finish and an extra reason to celebrate Ben Ho's Slab City debut.

Get in Gear 10K

In every Circuit season, the winds of controversy eventually swirl. Successful teams are those who manage them best. By that measure, Slab City Running Company was the most successful team at the Get in Gear 10K, for nowhere will controversial winds blow more powerfully than they did on the Ford St. Bridge. In blinding sleet and slush The Company banded together, with Bryan Donald, Chapel, and Paul Fischer all finishing within 15s. Ben Merchant once again led the way as Reuben slammed the door. Paul Fischer made his Slab City debut while Ho and Gehring each followed-up their fine performances from the week before. Stalwarts, Jim and Allen Lundberg, also made their season debuts giving The Company the most cohesive nine-man squad this side of the Metrodome. Strong individual races from Collegeville and Lundgren Ford left Slab City in fifth place on the day and overall, but well within striking distance.

Ultimately, the nomination for the right to challenge Run 'N' Fun will be determined by super runners, many of whom presently compete unattached. Slab City has logged countless hours off the racing trail recruiting and wooing these crucial members of the Circuit process. Early endorsements from Ben Ho and Paul Fischer reflect the sentiment held by many such established runners; that The Company is the team most likely to disrupt Run 'N' Fun's winning streak this fall. A steady stream of super runners have also endorsed TC Running Company, but many Slab City supporters are waiting until after the TC 1-Mile race to declare their allegiance. With their support, with yours, we will race past Collegeville, Ford and TCRC and take the Circuit at City of Lakes! Send your contributions, check or money-order, today!

(Because, um, we're having trouble with some of these entry fees...)